The Wabi-Sabi Writer: Prose

Showing posts with label Prose. Show all posts

Thursday, November 7, 2019

Hobbling along

November 07, 2019 BY Jenni Astramowicz 0 Comments

I have found that whenever I approach something from a place of absolute certainty, dare I even say with a degree of hubris, the Universe (or in this case, the Muze) decides to show me who is boss. Now I am a beggar in front of the keyboard (ok ok, yes at times on the chaise watching youtube videos) pleading for the smallest inspiration.

It does not help that I spent October in a month long poetry project and not outlining, plotting or planning my novel. And other than the title, I do not care for much of what I have written.

It is ironic - my story's theme is one of the woods and here I am lost... so what do I do?

Do I change directions? Just keep going? Do I stop, collapse on the forest floor of my mind-space and wait to be devoured, literary carrion? What about Jason.... Or worse - Annie Wilkes??

Time to just write. Maybe the way forward is through...

“We all have forests on our minds. Forests unexplored, unending. Each one of us gets lost in the forest, every night, alone.”
― Ursula K. Le Guin

Friday, November 1, 2019

NaNo19 • Prose

National Novel Writing Month

November 01, 2019 BY Jenni Astramowicz 0 Comments

The quest to write a novel... 50,000 or more words... in one month.

NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) - something I stumbled across some five years ago while attending a coaching certification program, has become an end of the year tradition. One where I spend more time with words, with characters and the trouble they get into than the people I interact with in my daily life.

It is an all-consuming test of endurance - this jaunt across the far reaches of the imagination. To keep writing, even when the words lag, the eyes droop and the call of Dexter reruns is as strong as the need itself.

Join me on this wild adventure

Monday, August 19, 2019

poetry • Prose

Fog and the Muze - Summer Writing

August 19, 2019 BY Jenni Astramowicz 0 Comments

Summer in this city, is not the sunny warm (or hot) season where locals pack parks and beaches or crowd sidewalk cafes late into the night.

As Twain discovered

- the coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco -

it is notoriously cool, windy and oft cloaked in thick fog. Tourists shiver in their short pants as they hang over the side of the cable cars, snapping pictures of the crookedest street.

The ubiquitous Fog (it is Fog City after all), babtized Karl, has garnered a fair amount of fame (and even has a Twitter Account @KarltheFog )

I have made promises to Karl - that should he return, bringing the cool breezy mist to relieve the cruel oppressive autumn heat - I would never again complain or bemoan the lack of summer sunshine. To date, I have kept these vows.

And the Muze keeps Karl's company...

_________________________________________________________________________

Please join me on my summer writing adventures

An exploration of all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities:

nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect

Poetry, Prose & Pondering
- posted on Mondays

(Feedback is welcome, kindness is appreciated)

Friday, January 11, 2019

Prose • Winter

The Bell Tolls Six

January 11, 2019 BY Jenni Astramowicz 0 Comments

My mother just called - her voice hushed and breaking. I wanted to blame our cell service, the storm or technology ineptitude. But I knew, it was the beast that follows the reaper, the one that brings pain to those left behind.   A mother should not outlive her children. It is a cruel burden I wish on no one.

Matt brought Nyx home tonight. He placed her high in the their closet. Nyx’s closest female friend Carrie wants to take her to the place they met. I want to take her back to shark fin beach in Santa Cruz…

...and to Narnia where we played as children.

The children will shampoo and brush out the length of of their mother’s hair taken before the flame took her form down to ash.

When I was nine I read my first book in the Chronicles of Narnia while lying in the spare room of the single wide we were living in at the time - The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. I cried when Aslan was killed and yelled out in joy when he came back to life.   I would over the next few years read the rest - all but one that is - that one would remain unread - until now.

Growing up, Narnia became our childhood mythology - we would head out towards Ashburnham, into the deep woods behind Ridgewood and around Dunns Pond - each area a different part of our Narnia.

Our mother would ask - where are you going? when we would say we were going outside to play - "Narnia !" we’d exclaim and she would say “be home by 6” and asked no other questions.

It was not until perhaps a year or so ago did Nyx ask her if she even knew what Narnia was - and to both of our utter shock, she did not even know of the books, let alone where we actually went.    In a way, that was perfectly aligned with the stories CS Lewis wrote, the adults rarely knew of this other world. And it was of course a different time.

So all these years I have avoided reading The Last Battle because I knew it was the end of Narnia (not just the series, but the land). I never wanted to face that. I wanted Narnia to be forever.

The day Nyx passed, I took the book off the shelf and started to read.

Today the king and the children learned that the castles were ruined, the talking animals silenced, that Narnia was destroyed.

...and I may never stop crying

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Prose • Random Poetry

Writing through the Winter

December 16, 2018 BY Jenni Astramowicz 0 Comments

It is that time of year. Short days nestled in tight darkness that sparkles with holiday lights and the reflections on the wet pavement. Everyone rushing around like Santa's Elves to the next cheerful obligation or ugly sweater situation.

I find myself lost in the crowds, lost in thought and lost in the melancholy I have grown to expect this time of year. Yet I have not taken poetic refuge to stave off the sullen mood that scarves my face - my words strewn about the floor like misfit toys that I trip over.

So instead I will give space to these precious little ones. Let them play on the page. Perhaps here they will be the good company I long for.

Please join me on my winter writing adventures

An exploration of all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities:

nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect

Poetry, Prose and Pondering - posted on Mondays

(Feedback is welcome, kindness is appreciated)

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

NaNo18 • Prose

Night of Writing Dangerously

November 06, 2018 BY Jenni Astramowicz 0 Comments

I am participating the final Night of Writing Dangerously event on November 18th. This epic evening of revelry and words is to raise money for the creative writing programs in schools and communities around the world (through the National Novel Writing non profit organization).

Any assistance you can give will help kids and adults get the encouragement, structure and inspiration needed to develop their creative potential!

All donations are tax deductible.

https://www.classy.org/fundraiser/1713647

“Fiction is the truth inside the lie.”
― Stephen King

All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath.

-- F. Scott Fitzgerald

“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”

― Anais Nin

Thursday, November 1, 2018

NaNo18 • Prose

National Novel Writing Month - 50,000 words/30 days

November 01, 2018 BY Jenni Astramowicz 0 Comments

The quest to write a novel... 50,000 or more words... in one month.

NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) - something I stumbled across some five years ago while attending a coaching certification program, has become an end of the year tradition. One where I spend more time with words, with characters and the trouble they get into, than the people I interact with in my daily life.

It is an all consuming test of endurance - this jaunt across the far reaches of imagination. To keep writing, even when the words lag, the eyes droop and the call of Dexter reruns is as strong as the need itself.

This year it is the final coup of my writing Trifecta.

Join me on this wild adventure

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

NaNo17 • Prose

Perchance to Dream...

November 01, 2017 BY Jenni Astramowicz 1 Comments

Today begins my quest to write a novel in a month. 50K words in 30 days. I am starting this endeavor hot on the heels of a intense poetry project so I had minimal if any mindspace to plan my novel - I will be a pantser scribe - writing as the words flow (and may they flow with inspiration and ease). Towards this end I have lured my critic into a sealed (and padded) room with the promises of copious foil wrapped edits at the end of the noveling adventure.

This will be a new work - one born out of an inkling of an idea and a bout of insomnia. The story will weave through the space of waking and sleep and beyond.

Join me as I find the way by moonlight.... Deep in the Soul Sleep

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” Oscar Wilde

“To die, to sleep – to sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there's the rub, for in this sleep of death what dreams may come…” Hamlet - William Shakespeare

Monday, October 31, 2016

NaNo16 • Prose

Needful Path - the Eve of Words

October 31, 2016 BY Jenni Astramowicz 1 Comments

There were many times last November when I swore I would never NaNo again... and yet here I find myself, on the Eve of words (50,000 of them to be exact) consumed with the need and also trepidation of yet another wild 30 day adventure with the Muze.

This time will be different. I am not relying on the labors of words already born to the page. This time I am seeking a new path, a brand new tale and in the grimey, gruesome and glorious process will deliver my own Glaring Truth.

Come walk with me. The path is just ahead...

Monday, November 30, 2015

NaNo15 • Prose

Long Live the Writers

November 30, 2015 BY Jenni Astramowicz 1 Comments

Sunday, November 29, 2015

NaNo15 • Prose

The Critic's Riese

November 29, 2015 BY Jenni Astramowicz 0 Comments

After my nearly month long fling, an on again off again affair with words, I am struggling to reach the climax of my novel. I have to wonder if I have been medicated along with my main character, the Prozac of a process dulling my ability to achieve release, the looming deadline tempting me with a case of the fuckits. Go out and enjoy the sunshine, eat brunch, drink wine, watch movies or to hell with it all - binge watch some series on Netflix.

It would appear the critic has spat out her ball-gag and is ranting like a demon in the back of the dimly lit cellar of my mind.

Time to shove that slobbery red rubber globe back in her yaw, tighten the restraints and lock the padded cell door.

36 hour hold starts now.

Long Live the Writers.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

NaNo15 • Prose

And to think I hesitated...

November 08, 2015 BY Jenni Astramowicz 1 Comments

It was a rough first week of words. All my best intentions were muddled by stress and self doubt. I would walk up the steep hills of my Cow Hollow neighborhood to try to give form to my ideas. As the days passed and the word debt increased, I did find a thread to follow, a path to take, a dark and looming cloud that promised a rain of plot on the pages. Yet, like San Francisco these days, nothing rained down.

It was the night before I planned to race a local half marathon (with a broken toe, not wise) that I decided I would do whatever it takes to bring the words. Divining, rain dances - hell, I even washed my car. And this morning, when the alarm went off, I pulled on my running shoes, felt the sharp twang in my toe and decided not to race but instead write.

And as of now, I am caught up and aiming to exceed my word count goals (with hours left in the night and a full pot of tea waiting)

And so begins my delve into the madness of Van Gogh Latte

"And while the paths of the brain are plainly visible, its ways deceptively apparent, its destinations are unknown. Its secrets still secret. And, if we are honest, it is the lure of the labyrinth that draws us to our chosen field to unlock those secrets. Others have been here before us and have left us signs, but we, as explorers of the mind, must devote our lives and energies to going further to tread the unknown corridors in order to find ultimately, the final solution. We have to see, we have to know..."

Hellbound: Hellraiser II

Saturday, October 31, 2015

NaNo15 • Prose

Eve of Words

October 31, 2015 BY Jenni Astramowicz 1 Comments

Tomorrow begins my quest to write a novel in a month. 50K words in 30 days.

As I sit here contemplating a month of words, I am faced with the ever familiar dilema - what to write. Sometimes it is just a matter of sitting down, of putting pen to paper, fingers to keyboard. Or the scavenger hunt for the elusive "time" to write. Hints of it, in retrospect after a day long Orange is the New Black or Game of Thrones binge, or that aching longing for it, in dull meetings or frustrating circular conversations with co-workers. Yet when I get down to the task at hand, notions and inspiration leave the building. And I am left to fixate on things that are equal parts frustrating and compelling...

Finish Fences - The 2013 NaNoWriMo winner - a story well underway but with at least 50K to reach a first edit worthy ending. Would be nice in light of the my other life-quests to finish something I started.

Delve into the madness of Van Gogh Latte - a story spanning a few thousand words that would wind its way through manic obsession and psychotic breakdown (the main character, not the author - one would hope)

Instead I am opting for A novel Novel - one I have likened to Jodi Picoult meets Stephen King.

Time to take a deep breath and jump in... Won't you join me?

Saturday, November 30, 2013

NaNo13 • Prose

...You are a Novelist.....!

November 30, 2013 BY Jenni Astramowicz 1 Comments

I near panicked when I opened Evernote today and saw I had 5000 words to reach the goal. Yes, I procrastinated today. After my Night Write In, I could not face the bright screen of my laptop.

But to my surprise, as soon as I sat down the words began to flow. 1000 in the first hour and I kept up the pace without any signs of slowing.
I crossed the 50K mark just after 11 pm. Checked in my novel and was awarded a video cheer from the NaNoWriMo org crew.
It was a good Saturday night.

Fences is not finished, not yet - the story continues, I suspect for another 20-30K or so. Just when I thought I knew the direction it would take, the character's story would surprise me. I am looking forward to seeing where we all end up.

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
Ernest Hemingway
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/e/ernest_hemingway.html#gZfwUK2hVA1eFkst.99

Friday, November 29, 2013

NaNo13 • Prose

drôle d'endroit pour une rencontre de l'écriture

November 29, 2013 BY Jenni Astramowicz 0 Comments

I am officially joining the "PARIS vendredi 29 Write-in toute la nuit" -

all night write in --- remotely from San Francisco.

Granted, the freezing and windy conditions in Paris would have ensured the ease at which someone stays indoors with the laptop. San Franciso has been unseasonably balmy with radiant mid autumn sunshine and calm winds.

Alas, tonight I evoke the bohemian spirit and write...

Vive <<Clôtures>>!!!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

NaNo13 • Prose

The last miles

November 26, 2013 BY Jenni Astramowicz 1 Comments

I am in the last week of the NaNoWriMo with 8000 words left to reach my goal. This is not entirely unlike a triathlon, where you have however many miles to run before the entire day's effort is complete - and you start negotiating with yourself as to just how far you have left... Half Marathon to go! I got this! Then, just a 10K - its like a run to the bridge and back! Slowly devolving into the "three miles, then walk the aid station..." "Run to the next lamp post, then you can think of stopping" - all the while moving forward, however slowly to the ultimate goal - FINISH LINE.

Oh yes, truth be told there are cramps, porta-potty emergency breaks, muscles that feel more like damp dishclothes than the mitrochondria filled powerhouses they were at the start cannon. But you keep going.

So I am continuing - plot pot holes, character amnesia (my forgetting, not the characters. They are having a grand time between where I left them off and the sordid corners of my imagination) and the deafening call of a spice rack that needs organizing (as well as that re-run of Law and Order, Criminal Intent.) aside.

Come Saturday - Fences will cross the threshold and I will break the winner tape; announcer loudly proclaiming...

Sunday, November 10, 2013

NaNo13 • Prose

Word Hangover

November 10, 2013 BY Jenni Astramowicz 1 Comments

Muse is like a lover - don't keep her waiting. Show up.
She is also very demanding and has way more energy than you - so pray you have creative viagra, taken your vitamins and hope for the best when you finally "get in the sheets" (or laptop).

I set up a lair in my living room with candles, tea, music, my iPhone streaming Evernote onto my plasma tv while I sat on my chaise lounge with my wireless keyboard on my lap. My fingers began to evoke the story, the font 4 inches in height filling my tv with words. This was good foreplay but soon I wanted to know my word count (a little confirmation that I was making acceptable progress).

So I switched to my laptop and made another pot of tea. By the time the witching hour came, I found my plot had taken a different direction, a character doing things I would have considered unthinkable before tonight. But you have to go with it, else you ruin the mood.

The story reached a satisfactory stopping point for which I was grateful. I blew out the candles, turned off the computer and crawled into bed just as the bars closed. The street below was filled with drunken fools hoping to hook up, their garbled yells echoing up to my windows.

As I rolled over, my face cradled in the crook of my arm, I laughed softly. My mind snuck away satisfied that the muse was totally spent.

Monday, November 4, 2013

NaNo13 • Prose

Stealing Time for Words

November 04, 2013 BY Jenni Astramowicz 1 Comments

It is officially day 4 of the NaNoWriMo and I am already three days behind in my word count. Perhaps I should attribute this early negligence on my half marathon race (and the pre-race preparations). But how can I when it was the sound of my consistent foot fall and breath that gave me the mindspace to work through the twists and gaps in the current story (along with the cramping hamstrings and bruised toes).

I didn't beat my prior race time. Just kept a consistent pace and felt as though I had the energy to keep going beyond the 13.1 miles. What this says is I seem to suffer the need for a bit of structure and dedicated time in the schedule. (The muse wants a "standing date" - this playing it by ear bull$i# is only giving me cafe poetry and those regretful Facebook posts).

So I am going to steal time. I mean - that is what Alt-Tab is for, right?

Friday, November 1, 2013

NaNo13 • Prose

Dexter would be A Muzed

November 01, 2013 BY Jenni Astramowicz 1 Comments

Today is the day. And it's going to happen again and again. Has to happen.

At least until I reach the 50,000 word limit. But I expect this will go far beyond that. NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) provides the structure, motivation and forum to focus on my work. It justifies my compulsion, soon to be addiction (if it all goes well).

I have decided to be a Rebel - one who does not adhere strictly to the rules of the game, but who still writes, and reaches the 50,000 word goal for the month. I will take two partial works to the designated threshold during November requiring me to still write a minimum of 50K words. This is a different approach than last year where I started two new works simultaneously in hopes that one would rouse the muze from her slumber and send the cursor scampering across the screen at 110 words per minute. I did get promising starts on both but soon found myself caught up in whatever lifecrap was going on. At the eleventh hour I donned my hero's cape and attempted to write one in less than a week. Evernote word count was at 10K as I watched the clock on my phone go from 11:59 to midnight on Nov 30. I turned off the iPad, accepting my defeat and falling into a dreamless sleep.

A year later, I have returned.

Let's see what my dark passenger (a new nickname for my MuZe?) makes me do...

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Prose • ROW80

The Orange Calling

November 04, 2012 BY Jenni Astramowicz 1 Comments

When I was at the retreat a couple weeks ago one of my colleagues Hallie stated she could not avoid the orange in her life. This plagued her - orange is her least favorite color and yet it was showing up everywhere, in the intention stone she chose, in the mandala she created, even in scarves she danced with. This became synonymous with getting "called out" by the universe.

Now orange happens to be my FAVORITE color - I seek it in the glow of a sky blue pink sunset or the blush of an early autumn sunrise. I pick out all the orange gummy bears from the squirmy pile of gelatinous goodness and devour them all (those who know me expect this). My good luck t-shirt that I wear race morning in Nice is a vibrant pumpkin statement to the world - It reads:
Je fais ce que je veux - I do what I want. It is the color of happiness and creativity.

Which brings me to the current state of affairs. I am day four into the NaNoWriMo and after a ball busting sprint the first night (3500 words, two novels) I am finding myself gasping for creative air, hoping the burning sensation in my fingers and bottom will pass. I am being true though - and like a lover I am not keeping my muse waiting. I am showing up. Now if the words would just flow.

I am thinking I need a talisman, a something that will put me write (pun intended).

Like with Hallie, this morning I was being called forth, chasing and being chased by orange. Neon orange to be specific - the race t-shirt for the US Half Marathon that I competed in is a vibrant day glow garment that most of the women wore during the race. I am a tad supersistious - I wear my Training for Ironman France shirt for my running races, and even if I wanted to wear something else I adhere to the #1 rule in athletic competitions. Nothing new race day. So my t-shirt was folded neatly in the drawer waiting to make its maiden voyage another day. But when I returned home (after a fantastic race, with stiff legs and sweaty braids threatening to evolve into dreadlocks) I pulled it out to take a picture of it with my race number and medal. Spying the color if it instantly warmed my heart and ran a chill down my spine. I know this shirt will have more uses than just a run along the bay. I will be pulling it on to evoke the muse and when it is just too damned hot to wear (November is when SF has its Indian Summer) I will hang it by my desk to draw down some of its zing.

It is the write thing to do...

______________________________________________________

Check in:

Faithful morning pages - except for today since I had to leave the house at 6 am for the race. I will return to them this evening and resume tomorrow morning,

NaNoWriMo - since I could not decide on which storyline to go with, I decided to do both.
As of right now, I have written 3800 words for Louche (working title) and 1800 for Kraig's List. A little behind schedule. The day is not over yet though!

Wabi-Sabi - have not written up the poems into the blog yet.. Will see if I get to that this week otherwise I may opt to revise some goals to just focus on the novel efforts

This upcoming week I plan to read more of the other participant blogs (as well as others) and comment.

Orange you glad?

Thursday, November 7, 2019

Friday, November 1, 2019

Monday, August 19, 2019

Friday, January 11, 2019

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Monday, October 31, 2016

Monday, November 30, 2015

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Friday, November 29, 2013

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Monday, November 4, 2013

Friday, November 1, 2013

Sunday, November 4, 2012

About Me

The Wabi-Sabi Writer

Projects

Tao of Poetry

ARCHIVES

Fellow Travelers

About