The Wabi-Sabi Writer

I am not sure how to make it through this dark month. Except by allowing the up-welling agony to flood my being and to also welcome the diamond fractal glitter of love to shine much like the holiday lights glistening on trees I pass by. 

May I embody equanimity  - bowing deep into each wave, no matter how massive the swell
May I remember I am of the sea and of the sky
a being of light and love

May I hold true the promise I made

Another writing challenge in the proverbial books  (though I am still waiting for one to actually evolve into that published form).  This adventure was more about getting lost, finding a way, then losing it again and eventually relinquishing all attachment to any bearings.

So I will wander this winter - deeper into the wood -  for the trees are waiting
waiting for words

Off on a different path than mine

I'm left behind

Wondering if I should follow

You had to go

And, of course, it's always fine

I probably could catch up with you tomorrow

But is this what it feels like

To be growing apart?

When did I become the one

Who's always chasing your heart?

Now I turn around and find

I am lost in the woods

North is south, right is left

When you're gone

I'm the one who sees you home

But now I'm lost in the woods

And I don't know what path you are on

I'm lost in the woods

- Lost in the Woods

Lyrics by Jonathan Groff

I have found that whenever I approach something from a place of absolute certainty, dare I even say with a degree of hubris, the Universe (or in this case, the Muze) decides to show me who is boss.  Now I am a beggar in front of the keyboard (ok ok, yes at times on the chaise watching youtube videos) pleading for the smallest inspiration. 

It does not help that I spent October in a month long poetry project and not outlining, plotting or planning my novel.  And other than the title, I do not care for much of what I have written. 

It is ironic - my story's theme is one of the woods and here I am lost... so what do I do?

Do I change directions?  Just keep going?  Do I stop, collapse on the forest floor of my mind-space and wait to be devoured, literary carrion?  What about Jason.... Or worse - Annie Wilkes??

Time to just write.  Maybe the way forward is through...

The quest to write a novel... 50,000 or more words... in one month.

NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) - something I stumbled across some five years ago while attending a coaching certification program, has become an end of the year tradition.  One where I spend more time with words, with characters and the trouble they get into than the people I interact with in my daily life.  

It is an all-consuming test of endurance - this jaunt across the far reaches of the imagination.  To keep writing, even when the words lag, the eyes droop and the call of Dexter reruns is as strong as the need itself. 

This has been a voyage into the poetic space beyond what I planned.  I am grateful to have ventured out into the inner realms that I may not have otherwise have explored and to have had fellow travelers to share the experience with.